For most, the sex act is a release. So when you move in it you are in a hurry. You just want a release….Overflowing energy creates tensions, excitement. You feel something has to be done. When the energy is released, you feel weak. You may take this weakness as relaxation. Because the excitement is no more, the overflowing energy is no more, you can relax. But this relaxation is a negative reaction….at a very great cost. And this relaxation can only be physical. It cannot go deeper and cannot become spiritual….

There are two parts to the sex act—the beginning and the end. Remain with the beginning. The beginning part is more relaxed, warm…..Forget the end completely…..Do not seek ejaculation; forget it completely.

Feel the other's body, feel the other's energy flowing towards you and be merged in it, melt in it. It will come…..A man feels that something has gone wrong if there is no ejaculation…. Nothing has gone wrong! And do not feel that you have missed something; you have not missed. In the beginning it will be felt as if you are missing something, because the excitement and the peak will not be there. Before the valley comes you will feel that you are missing something, but this is just an old habit. Within a period, within a month or three weeks, the valley will start appearing, and when the valley appears you will forget your peaks. No peak is worth this. But you have to wait, and do not force it and do not control it. Just relax….It is good, helpful, if you breath deeply, not fast but slow, breathing very easily—being at ease. Don't talk….feel what is happening. …Float effortlessly. Then only will the valley appear, and once the valley appears you are transcended.

Once you feel and realize the valley, the relaxed orgasm, it is already transcendence. Then sex is not there. It has become a meditation—a samadhi.
Tantra says…use nature itself to transcend. Don't fight; accept nature in order to transcend it.
Tantra says no strain is needed; be relaxed with the other. In that relaxed moment the other disappears and your energy can flow up, but it flows up only when you are in a valley. It flows down when you are at a peak…..If you are controlling it, sooner or later you will be hurried to finish….You are not going somewhere. It is just a play; there is no goal. Nothing is to be reached, so why hurry?... If you are in a hurry, then timelessness cannot be felt….This unhurriedness is basic to create the valley; otherwise the peak will be created.

Remain in the moment going nowhere, and melt. Warmth, love, should be made a situation for two persons to melt into each other. That is why, if there is no love, the sex act is a hurried act. … You are exploiting each other, not merging into each other.

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If you are not in a hurry to finish the act, the act, by and by, becomes less and less sexual and more spiritual. Sex organs also melt into each other. A deep, silent communion happens between two body energies….It becomes an ecstasy, a samadhi, cosmic consciousness. And if you can know this, if you can feel and realize this, your sexual mind will become non-sexual!

Tantra will say, understand sex, do not try to channel it….First understand it, and through understanding the path will be revealed. You are not to force your energies on that path. Through understanding you come to know the law, just like in science. …You come to understand a law; a natural mystery is revealed. Once the natural mystery is revealed, you can use the energy creatively.
Without your knowing the inherent law, all efforts are doomed. So tantra says, understand the animal, because in the animal is hidden the potential for your future…..Tantra says that in your body is the whole cosmos in miniature.

Bliss never happens through effort. Effort is always tension-creating; it gives anguish. Effort is always ugly because you are forcing something. Understanding is not an effort; it is beautiful, it is a spontaneous happening.

There is no need to use sex only in reproduction. In every creation sex is used….A great musician is creating music. No father can feel so much fulfilled as a musician feels when great music is created, and no son can give so much happiness to any parent as a great piece of music can give to the musician….Because he is creating on higher realms, nature relieves him of lower creation; the energy has moved higher. Tantra says, do not fight with the energy, allow the energy to move higher. And there are many realms of higher movement and many dimensions.