truly experience love
without having experienced self love.
Has there been a time in your life when you couldn't self pleasure
or you were inhibited about it?
" If you have difficulty talking yourself into a masturbation session, or
in making love to yourself regularly, remember that you are conditioned away
from that activity."
Self-pleasure and self-loving are other terms for masturbation.
Masturbation is the rubbing of the penis, testes, clitorus, vaginal opening,
vulva, breast or anus for sexual stimulation that may lead to orgasm.
"Some Statistics according to Kinsey's research in his book "Sexual
Behavior in the Human Male" (Alfred Kinsey, 1948), a true eye
opener:- 65% of all females masturbate
- and more frequently, as they get older; 94% of all males had masturbated
at some time in their lives, and that the other 6% were obviously
Baptist ministers who lied to save their necks; Even at age fifty,
over half of the males/female are all masturbating during the course
of a single week; Some respondents whacked off twenty-three times
week in early adolescence; and even at age fifty, a few hardy souls
were putting in two dozen shots a month.
Men watch and learn what women realy like
Self Pleasuring is an inward experience. I want to feel
my body, I want to touch my body, and feel many different sensations.
I often set an intention for my own slower and longer solo sessions.
I like to see how delicate I can be, or discover a new way of using my
hands, or how close I can create as much intense feelings a possible,
as many times as possible. Slowing down is the my main things. It is
an act of self love to slow things down. Sure it can be hard to slow
down, but who doesn't need to slow down a bit???
We human beings are able to make love more frequently and
more sensuously than perhaps any other animal. Yet we are often disappointed
after lovemaking. Why? Because most of us are like owners of a precious
Stradivarius violin that we have never learned to play.
Jolan Chang "The Tao of the Loving Couple"
"If you delay your orgasm and raise the energy up in your
body, you will eventually reach a level of energy at which orgasm
does not bring you down. And in the meantime you will benefit from
the effects of that energy flowing through your body whether you
have orgasms at the end or not."
Benefits of Self-pleasuring
Although some people may feel that masturbation is something you only
do if you do not have a partner or when you are younger, many people
use masturbation as a way of reducing stress, avoiding unplanned
pregnancy and disease and ensuring their own orgasm.
Popular myth might have you believe that if you masturbate, you will
get hairy palms, become uninterested in partnered sex or have poorer
vision. These are all false, and in reality the many health benefits
of orgasm include a reduction in discomfort:
"The idea that a man must have orgasm or risk physical pain
is erroneous. It certainly does not happens to men who are moving
the energy upwards. The biggest problem you will have with this
exercise is not how to do it, because it is extremely simple, but
your own conditioning about masturbation."
for women living with pain (Kromisaruk & Whipple, 1995)
from cramping and uterine congestion during menstruation (Masters & Johnson,
due to a build up of fluid in the prostate gland that is a result of
a non-bacterial inflammation (The Prostate Book, Stephen N. Rous)
The practice of weaving contradictory aspects of our personalities
into a whole
for the purpose of expanding our consciousness.
Who’s Doin’ It and How?
Both males and females of many ages, ethnicities and backgrounds masturbate.
If a person does not choose to self-pleasure, that’s OK too. How
you express yourself sexually is up to you. If touching yourself doesn’t
feel enjoyable, you don’t have to do it. Some people use their
fingers or hands to stroke their body, while others rub against objects
(pillows, sex toys etc.) or use their imaginations to fantasize.
It seems that the most important ingredient of sexuality if
that personal magnetism, that magnetic attraction. With it, sex
Without it, sex becomes a hassle and a chore. The masturbation exercise,
without a doubt, increases one's personal magnetism. I also began
to see that my vitality, my aliveness, and my enthusiasm were increasing
noticably. Friends remarked how wonderful I looked, how alive I was.
I began to learn that I could direct the energy to any part of my
body, not only my heart, and began using it for healing, directing
it to any place in my or theirs body that wasn't feeling right."
Since ancient civilisation, self-loving (autoeroticism) has been practiced
as a natural and elegant way of honoring the gift of a body and communing
with one's inner divinity. Even today, sex therapists extol the benefits
of self-loving as a vital tool for self-knowledge and relationship enhancement.
Sexual satisfaction with a lover is attained by first becoming a sexual
virtuoso with yourself.
Best Reasons to Masturbate
We present here the many sensible reasons why you should spend precious
time and energy on what may appear to be frivolous, threatening, wickedly
Because masturbation is immensely pleasurable,
invigorating, rejuvenating and fun.
Because masturbation proclaims that sex is good in, by, and for itself.
Because masturbation makes you a better lover.
Because you can have more sex more often.
Because sexual pleasure is each person's birthright.
Because masturbation is the ultimate safe sex.
Because masturbation is a joyous expression of self love.
Because masturbation is an excellent cardiovascular workout.
Because each person is their own best lover.
Because masturbation increases sexual awareness.
Can Tantra help heal sexual abuse and trauma?
Yes, many people come to Tantra because of previous abuse. Trauma, especially,
sexual trauma leaves a violent impact on the tissues of the body. The body
responds by going numb and unconscious. Many people come to Tantra with an
inability to experience pleasure during intimacy. What happens is our bodies
go numb to protect ourselves from experiencing the pain of the trauma. The
result is an inability to experience pleasure and orgasm. In Tantra sessions
we teach emotional release techniques that release body memories on a cellular
level bring numb areas of
the body back to consciousness.
One learns to love oneself by making love to oneself
Self pleasure and masturbation are one of the most powerful gifts you
can give yourself. To explore your body with loving compassion; to allow
yourself the time and space to feel pleasure; and to know that you are
worth giving and receiving this pleasure are some of the most powerful
steps to becoming sexually and spiritually whole.
"When Self pleasuring, the only thing to remember
is that it is extremely simple - raising the body's sexual energy
almost to the point of orgasm, and instead of letting the energy
go out into the orgasm, allow it to come up in the body, up to the
heart the brain. It happens that, at the point just before orgasm,
there is a channel open in the body, and if you rest at that point
your attention in your heart, the energy which has been generated
will flow naturally upwards toward the heart. You don't have to do
anything; it just happens. Don't worry about what it feels like,
or if it is happening, just do it! Begin and adventure with yourself
to see what your sexual energy is all about. Rediscover the physical
system you were trained to ignore. "
Relax and allow yourself to become aware of the subtlest of sensations
as they play over your whole body. The air moving against your skin,
the sounds and smells around you.. you get the idea. By regularly playing
with sensory awareness like this, allowing your mental chatter to dissolve
into pure sensory awareness, you will eventually get to the point where
form and solidity dissapear, and there is only the sensation of tingling
energy, and then, as you continue to dissolve, experiment, and play,
only bliss and emptiness...
Have a session with yourself every day, as a meditation,
for three months, and see what the results are for yourself.
It is okay to be sexual. Sexual energy is not only beautiful and valuable,
but it's also a way to experience God, or Tao.
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